I
Crimson drops
Porcelain and mortar
Alabaster form
Smeared in red
Never to heal
The open wound
Forever gripping
Stained sword
Dyed water
Spilling on to tile
Coursing red highway
Trapped in hypermnesia
Painful but never forgotten
Just lost in the haze
Hopes and dreams
Unfixable shattered
The windows are glazed
Façade stained with crystalline rain
Clock in the chamber winding down
Then slowing ticking down
Suddenly gripped by fear
Of this unknown - Too late coming
Smiling lips - It'll be fine
As this end comes – so welcome.
II
Why did you do it?
Couldn’t see beyond yourself
Taking you away leaving nothing
But the pain & confusion
Spreading it amongst
Those you claimed to love
That you left behind
Didn’t you care?
Just completely check out
Why didn’t you think?
No one obviously mattered
It was all about yourself
Was it the easiest solution?
To vacate your life
Now just bereaved
Are you at peace?
Within your plot
Aren’t you angry with yourself?
Just like I am
Couldn’t you find the will
To live – Obviously not
Just tossed it away
Like a old single shoe
One second – Was all you took
For you to make up your mind
Thoughtless – Selfish –
It was all about you
III
I don’t understand?
What truly made you – so desperate?
I loved you but you didn’t love me back
To tell me your fears –
Please come back
We always shared a bond
II would have understood
I could have helped
If you could’ve just talked
Confided in me
We would’ve found a way
To fix all the errors
I mourn your passing
It breaks my heart
To think you were all alone
Feeling no where you could turn
That no words spoken could’ve helped
Did you think – I would’ve understood
I loved you – I could have helped
I don’t think I’ll ever be the same –
IV
Don’t – Why
Don’t want to cry
Don’t want to scream
I’m no longer sure how I feel
Just want to sit still here
Don’t want to think another minute
Can’t seem to mourn your passing
Just sitting staring into space
Want to be blankly vacant
Want to be numbed
Just can’t, can’t, can’t………